When people hear the words romance novel, they often picture breathless kisses, heaving bosoms, and stolen moments behind velvet curtains. And don’t get me wrong—I adore writing those scenes. But what keeps readers turning pages isn’t just the heat between the characters—it’s the heart. The emotional undercurrent. The vulnerability behind the passion.
That’s the kind of romance I strive to write—stories where the physical connection sizzles, yes, but only because the emotional bond is so powerfully real.
The Myth of “Either/Or”
There’s a persistent myth in writing circles (and among some readers) that you can have one or the other: steamy chemistry or emotional depth. As though a book can be “sexy” or “serious,” but not both.
But real love is messy and layered. The sexiest scenes I’ve ever written are the ones where the characters are terrified of getting hurt. Where their desire is tangled with longing, fear, tenderness, and trust. Where a touch means more than pleasure—it means I see you. It means I’m choosing you.
In my stories, physical intimacy is an extension of emotional vulnerability. It’s not just about what happens under the covers; it’s about what happens inside the heart.
The Importance of Backstory
If my characters are going to fall in love—truly fall, in a way that transforms them—they need to bring their whole selves into the relationship. That means scars and all. Past betrayals, broken dreams, deeply held fears—all of it.
When I’m crafting a romantic arc, I don’t start with the first kiss. I start with what’s keeping them from love. What are they afraid to admit—even to themselves? What defense mechanisms are they clinging to? Who hurt them before? What beliefs are they holding that need to be unraveled?
When those emotional roadblocks come to the surface, the physical connection gains meaning. Suddenly, a kiss isn’t just a kiss—it’s a breakthrough. A hand on the cheek isn’t just a sweet moment—it’s a character letting themselves be seen for the first time in years.
Spice That Serves the Story
I love writing steam. Writing desire is powerful, primal, and expressive. But I never include an intimate scene just to tick a box. If it doesn’t serve the story, it doesn’t belong—no matter how tempting it is to dive into another deliciously tense encounter.
Every steamy scene in my books moves the emotional arc forward. It changes something between the characters. Sometimes it reveals how little they know each other. Sometimes it deepens the bond. Sometimes it cracks them open in ways neither of them expects.
And yes, sometimes it makes everything beautifully, painfully complicated. That’s part of the magic.
Power Dynamics and Emotional Safety
Especially in historical and paranormal romance—where power dynamics can be more pronounced—it’s essential to create emotional safety within those charged relationships.
A dominant partner might wield physical strength, magical abilities, or social power. But in my stories, true intimacy only blossoms when both characters are emotionally safe to be themselves. That means:
- Consent is always clear and enthusiastic.
- Vulnerability is honored, not exploited.
- Emotional needs matter as much as physical ones.
There’s nothing sexier than a partner who listens. Who waits. Who sees past the armor and says, “I’m here. All of you is welcome.”
Building Romantic Tension That Isn’t Just Lust
Tension doesn’t have to mean constant flirting or lingering glances (though I do love a good lingering glance!). Sometimes, it’s two characters trying not to want each other. Or one character opening up, only to be pushed away. Sometimes it’s the quietest scene—a shared look across a crowded room—that holds the most weight.
When I write romantic tension, I focus on emotional stakes. Why would giving in to desire be risky? What would it cost them? What are they afraid of losing? What would they gain if they trusted?
Lust creates attraction. But trust creates longing—that deep, aching desire not just to touch, but to be held, understood, chosen.
The Payoff: When Passion and Emotion Collide
There is nothing more satisfying—for me as a writer, and I hope for readers too—than that moment when the emotional arc and the physical connection finally converge. When a character says "I love you" and means it. When the heat explodes not because of hormones, but because of everything they’ve overcome to get there.
Those are the scenes where I sometimes find myself tearing up while writing. Because the story has earned it. The characters have earned it.
That’s the kind of romance I want to read. That’s the kind of romance I want to write.
A Final Thought
Balancing heat and heart isn’t always easy. It requires patience. Craft. Honesty. It requires digging deep into character wounds, and then honoring the slow work of healing. But when it’s done well?
It’s magic.
Because love—real love—isn’t just about passion. It’s about connection. Transformation. Belonging. And when your characters finally get that moment of release—when the passion matches the emotion—it becomes unforgettable.
Have you ever read a romance scene that made you cry and blush? I’d love to hear about the ones that stuck with you—or the ones you're writing now. Drop a comment below and let's talk about the heart behind the heat.
